When I sat at the computer earlier today, I knew there was something that I wanted to write about, something aside from how we spent our day yesterday; but I couldn't remember what. Then a while later, I remembered, it was something I'd thought about last night while going over the WatchTower study for today. In paragraph 7, it said, "Likewise, caring shepherds today are not emotionally distant from the sheep. Love moves them to 'rejoice with people who rejoice' and to 'weep with people who weep.' (Romans 12:15)"
This struck a chord with me because I often struggle with being socially awkward, not knowing what to say or how to act in response to what other people say or do. For as long as I've been aware, there's been very little going on inside me when interacting with other people: for instance, I remember once in my teens, our car group had stopped for coffee at a very Witness-popular location and an acquaintance from another congregation came up to me, all excited, saying, "I'm engaged! Wanna see my ring?!!" I remember it made very little impression on me at the time; and she probably wondered why I 'didn't care'. I DO CARE about other people, I'm just not emotionally lead as to how to respond.
Romans 12:15 contains words that can guide me. I doubt if my emotional stuntedness will be corrected in this system; so while I endeavour to improve myself in this aspect (and MANY others) I can only rely on the patience of those around me!
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7 comments:
Reading your post made me think about something that just happened this evening actually. Sometimes I can be quite quick witted, and think up good come-backs or whatever, but other times, especially in groups of ppl, my brain goes dead. Very frusterating. Anyways, a friend of mine made some silly remark, and my brain was dead, so I just laughed. Add to this that I was really tired. Anyway, he was all like, "Amie, don't be mad!"
Friday we went to the city and I got a group of ppl together to go see a movie and we went for coffee afterwards. Well, I pretty much bombed conversation-entertainment-wise. So I come home wondering why I put myself (and those poor ppl) through that...
Ugh. I *hate* those "after-a-social-outing-second-guessing-oneself" sessions! I think most of the times, we're our own worst critics.
Not emotionaly led when you respond to people. I like that. That describes me very well. I do worry other people will take offence that I'm not very emotional especially when it comes to friends. So alot of the time I fake it. Which I don't think is the greatest idea, but in reality it makes them feel better and they've got no idea that what I say isn't coming from inside. Some people would think that was horrible, but I've done it both ways, and in my experience faking it causes more peace and less frustration on my part.
Sorry, I don't think my comment sounded the way I meant it to. Part of me faking it, is part of me learning how to express emotion in certian situations.
Don't worry, I knew what you meant. That part makes it hard for me too, because if I do decide to "fake it", I feel like I'm being insincere, and I hate that. But if I don't, the people around me are left without any input or interaction.
Interesting topic. I usually battle with being too emotional..but there are times when ppl expect that of me and i just can't...deliver, u know? And i feel very insincere and horible, but I don't always have the energy nor motivation to be so emotionally charged all the time.
I have recently found out that one person I tended to brush off most of the time in high school..well she left a really nice note in my yearbook and she even included me in her grad writeup. It was like a wake up call for me. This person believes me to be her friend, and I gave her about 10 percent.
So I guess theres lots of ways that people can impove upon their dealings with others. Things'll be better in thenew system, we can be guarunteed. For now, service might help as a sort of training.
But my thought pattern is now breaking up, it's nearing midnight. ttyl.
~Amanda
We as Witnesses really do have so many things to help us improve and mold our personalities to be more pleasing to Jehovah! service, the meetings, literature, Bible reading, prayer - they all can help us to see where we can change!
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